working on the books

They expect me to make little changes and additions to the book that are very timeconsuming. WHENEVE4R I COME IN here to blog I feeln like I am wasting time.

Sorry. I will have this done in a few days. I have a ton of new jesus poems to put up, which are basically revolutionary poetry.

Finally we got the cable and the internet and the phone all back. Since moving all broke this has been a slow process. The tv is my freind. I do love them. I have to remember however that this computer is where my mission lies.

Go in Justice, even if you have to fuck something up.

various waking up jesus poems

WAKING UP JESUS...

i AM...
I have returned from death to teach the ways of Total War For Total Peace!
I am God's carress and his sword ... which will you becon from the Son of God?



merlin cut himself in specks

fed himself to u

he is now inside you

seize his magic

hold on for DEAR LIFE

PRAY TO THE MAD MAGICIANS' VOICE IN YOUR HEAD

MAKE IT MIGHTY AND STRONG

a blood soaked arthur is rising

there are many ways to die

and only ONETO LIVE


just simply

forgive


This is the book you have been waiting for... the new words of GOD. This time around I am not sitting in a church dictating to the world petty ways of being meant to ease your judgement before God. No, this time around Judgement Has Come....

THIS TIME AROUND


--------------------------------------------------fat daddy o 's

you left us STARVING too long
we learned to play our hunger like a symphony

HEAR THE THUNDER OF OUR DRUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


God has awakened me from my sullen human sleep. I am here to bring world wide peace by any means necessary -- even war.

I WANT A PEACEFUL REVOLUTION AND I WANT IT NOW. WE MUST USHER IN A THOUSAND YEARS OF PEACE BEFORE THIS SPECIES WILL BE ALLOWED OFF THIS PLANET.


My books can be found at http://STORES.LULU.COM/JOHNSCOTTRIDGWAY








I wrote the below PARAGRAPH a year ago and set off a revolution that you may or may not have heard about.... or were lied about. Certainly they are now trying to keep me a secret now that they know the true heart o the Son Of God; I was portrayed in your bible by easily researched pagan myths. I will tell you the real story here. You will find that the blogs at the top take place during my house arrest. When I move into the blogs when I was running the revolution, and driving the us government crazy, I give them a bit of context. This will be a book for sale within th next week or two.

-------------------------------------------------Please picture yourself walking through a brisk winter morning in 1775 Boston, going to a friendly pub for an eye opener and a bit of breakfest.. you pay heavy taxes and don't even get a decent wooden sidewalk over the muddy streets. You've been feeling sick of the world for sometime, but what could one person do??? If you spoke up they would throw you in a crazy hospital or jail or worse.... but on this fine morning you see on the walls and poles and doorways, someone has snuck in during the night and put up broadsides calling for a revolution. You read the words and they stir you like a lover. You go home and get your gun, head out into the field...inspired finally to be free. The free you have dreamt of... you lust to finally fight off the oppressor's so your children can live in a truly free land.---------------------------------------------

God has awakened me from my fleshly sleep. The Time Of His Judgement Is NOW.



Theories flew. Is it an alien? Is it here to destroy the planet? Is it a Syrian Terrorist? Is it displaying the powers of heaven or hell? A Christian Alarm Clock Calling From some holy war against the Muslims? A secret Weapon of a secret cabal? A CIA mind control experiment gone awry?

Others began to know...Have visions...Feel me!!!!!


...mankind has conspired around me since my birth as a flesh bucket of kingly blood... the world took up notice when a boy in Garrett, Indiana began to grow wings... they kept this all a secret from me. You will see as I tell my story the chaos my presence has brought across the usa, the world, and indeed, the souls of humynkind.


Some think I hearald armaggedon and final judgement, scrambled to meet my needs, at first... Until I convinced them that the Spirit Who Walks becomes a man to be a man, not a God, and I would not allow them to give me a crown and a throne, as they believed the bible prophesies.

When I refused to be a puppet in the vatican's show... how delighted they were to announce my arrival... THEN I said that I was here to criticize firs, to rebuke before offering forgiveness... and they scattered. The Pope's belief is part of what melted my own scepticism... though barely, and God had/has thrown more evidence into my life unbidden.... like a bomb tossed into the mentality of who I was before the emergence of Savage Grace.

I am different than the one you know, and similar. Most of my story has not been told... you see, I am not the elitist for the saintly that I have been made out to be... I have lived every religion, been man and women, have kept myself masked as I herded my flock toward the minute gate into the Father's Kingdom. In these, the blessed thousand years of promised peace, I am here to bring justice... before that peace.


This story is being written a year after some of the events. I have tried to give a little context over the verses where they were needed. I encourage you to understand I was an agnostic artist, dope smoker, sexual swinger at times... no one who even believed in Christ.


In fact, I thought religion was like a virus. Then God sent an angel to wake me up, and the words that he tells me will be the new bible... gave me visions of his face in my dreams, and powers here on earth that astound me -- I can call on storms, lightening, floods, fires and soldiers to do my bidding. All glory to the father, who has sent his son accross immeasurable time and space and dimensions to gather the souls who wish to make the cosmic journey to heaven by my side. I believe that all religions can lead to God, and make no judgements that one is better than the other.

I do despise the way some religions are used, and I find them all too exclusive. I fought my way into hell and Satan and His demons cried like babes when I offered them forgiveness for alleigence. Now they bow before me... when you learn their story, you will see why I even have to forgive the angel I have warred mightly against in heaven... where I have now won. I command the dead.

These words are meant to show you God, not me.... all glory on to the Father.

In his name, I write this story of an agnostic writer wrestling with the implications of finding out the pope and the president and countless others believe he is the CHrist... and then God himself shows me his face, and commands I do his will. This is a story for athiests and religious people and everyone in between... you can choose which songs to listen to by scrolling to the bottom of the blog...

Go in justice seeking rightous peace... for this is


TOTAL WAR FOR TOTAL PEACE!!!!!





I
AM

THE HAND


OF GOD





Tuesday, July 15, 2008
i am going to a steely concet tonight

going out into public
makes me feel watched

the last time I went to chicago theater
they seated us first
then kep the seats ahead of us empty for a few minutes
I figured they were thinking I was going to do something

seth has been with me since we settled our little dilemma
he thought I was afraid of blood

my attack showed him my eye is on my mission

NO ONE CAN STOP ME


YOU PUT OFF THE INEVITABLE
THE DAY WHEN SUNDAY MORNING COMES DOWN


















You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.
Posted by scott ridgway at 2:04 PM 0 comments
Monday, July 14, 2008
the cross


the unwelcome Christ
drifts through another day
in his gentle prison

he is allowed to leave his house
travel the city

security is tight
they watch him all the time
know when he is awake/who he calls/emails

they call those he names
make sure they know that the Christ has Chosen them

The cabal keeps him sated
He has a woman, pets
they keep him poor enough
that travel is out of the question

He is not the Christ of old
living homeless and hungry
as He awaits his date with Calvary

God has made him a warrior
killing with cryptic words
that send his forces out to make another heart-attack
cause a cancer
create a car accident
a suspicious fire burns across this planet

in the flames you hear the laughter of God
as his bloody welcome is given to his Children

the God who created the kill or be killed
eat or be eaten
world

exists beyond your pain
seeing you now and as you will be
the pains of this life are subsumed in the Glory of The To Come

the mythic journey through the stars
back to the father's side

you will hear tales of my heroic's along the way
I am nothing except a creation of the Father
nothing to celebrate or pray to or respect
any more than any working man doing a job
with the same feeling that he would rather be home

the silent among you are truly in control
not the voices you hear on the news

there is a greater ruling class
a coven of allegiences that try to keep the american experiment alive
by decieving the masses
by distrusting anyone other than themselves

I have shown the world their faces
dragged them out of the shadows
into the court of opinion

I awoke from amnesia in an Illegal House
I did not know...
I went along with them because they were offering me my dreams
like all evil folk
they lied to me
then tried to make me act the fool for the radio
i WENT ALONG to be funny
different
ground breaking

and we were
I wanted to use any scrap of fame I got
to help the people
to push for my causes
I wanted wealth to give it away

I cannot accept blood money
let them pay me off for their trickery
pretend that a few green backs
hold any worth
that equals my suffering in their hands

God himself fed me my inspiration
when such a one as He tells you what to do
there is no choice involved

he provided me with the opportunity to preach, act, write
the revolutionary movement that will take this country
this world
the space explorers
to the point where the good of all
is no different than the good of the one


You will die
some of you will stay by my side above
some of you will come back into life
warriors
sleeper agents for God
the evil among us
now hungry for redemption
to stay true to the simple god given laws
of their genetics

I will begin teaching them to use their powers

None will eclipse my own
for reasons that should be obvious to all of you
I have a dream of peace
from the Father
The path to heaven in my mind
the face of God hovering over me
an army of angels
the dead ready to do my bidding
in this world and beyond

I am at your back
raising my sword
to either fight off our enemies
or take you head



Sit in Chicago on a perfect day
the kitty-bum Buk curled up beside me
slighty touching my thigh with his warm paws

the husky lays in the doorway
half illuminated by the golden sun

the illusion of peace is complete

I read of the war zones
trying to see the best way out
read of al queda regrouping in Pakistan
how they won't let the Marines hunt them down

I want Peace without appeasement

yet I can see them there
calling on the youth to use their juice to fight in a holy war
everyone wants a holy war


all war is unholy
we fight the unholy to stop war

Some must fight
so that their loves can live
the unfortunate left overs of chimps trying to dominate the tribe
get the best fucks, the juiciest fruit...
how pathetic to be arrogant
in your pitiful state

man I have said that my dog is better than any human
when I said this I meant they are more blessedly living
than man

they would be just as cruel with our cranium
just as fucked up by their instincts
as they try to gather into civilizations

our soldiers are not feeling like they are fighting a holy war
though if they knew the future that the Taliban would bring
they would be volunteering for suicide missions

I will not allow any fundamentalists
even christians

to tell everyone else what to do

to jail the children of the night



I decame in the America's for a reason
they are the most powerful country in the world
the exact opposite of being stoned by the crowds as I struggled
to keep the heavy cross on my torn and bleeding shoulders

This time He let me be ready
sent me to stop the heresy
to destroy the idea that the last prophet has come and gone
no religion can afford to ignore me
they will change
to fit into the world we will offer

or we will free their children from the grips
of certain generations
stop their cultural pollution BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY

MY WORDS ARE THE FUTURE
YOU WOULD ALL HEED WELL TO GO ALONG
WITH THE FUTURE
INSTEAD OF FIGHTING FOR A CRIPPLED PAST

you wonder why I like the Mormon's?
For the same reason I like the Catholic's...

they believe in revelation
All humans are capable of being contacted by angels
given truths for how people should live
the mormons keep this tradition alive

I do not ignore things like they take more prozac in salt lake city
than anywhere else in the world

they have to loosen up
quit thinking that they have the exact method to raise humans
they raise carbon copies of themselves
children who parrot what was known
rather than seeking a new language that synthesises
all that the future offers

even new cultural truths
this God doesn't give a damn if a girl is a virgin
I prefer experienced lovers
I think kids should have sex
I am glad that I did
however... no adult should touch them
in their time of innocence
their heart and groins should be their guide

pretending they are not supposed to be sexual
sends them the wrong message
creates these fetishes and phobias
we make our children like priests
with no sexual outlet

so many myths must be deconstructed
torn apart
thrown onto the ash heap of history and burned

we should all be smoking weed
instead of drinking

everyone knows this
except those too straight to explore the wilder sides

I have always felt like an artist
a watcher of human kind
a man who wanted to evolve into the best he could
now the best I can be is too awesome to hold in my head

I asked loyd the underground agent once
what I was
he waved his hand in front of his face saying
"You are... oh, what you are... you're ... Christ."
He was always avoiding my questions
offering me only the information he wanted me to get

told me they would jail me if I went after the Hell's angels
stop me if I left town

He is the only one who has approached me with full understanding
last time I saw him he had lost 40 pounds and was a wreck
told me, as others have, "They've been coming down on me
pretty hard."

The oddest part of this is that my main goals
have been reached
the president acknowledged the greenhouse effect
the country is about to elect a liberal
and find out how much better off they are

the kids have been activated as voters
the culture has come together to put a black man
at the helm

I have become famous with the people who matter
and have kept at least the illusion
that I am living like a man


I remember when this was starting
and I became convinced I would become wealthy beyond my wildest

the power of money hit me hard
I wanted things I had never considered buying
became the creature I have despised

went into the hospital and they wiped my personality away
took out the Hitler is how they explained it on the radio

the Hitler... there is no Hitler in me
I drove cab for fifteen years and never picked up anyone
who I was better then
or anyone who was better

I do not think in terms of heirarchies
I am not impressed by accolades
I am curious and open with people
yet respectful of their privacy
I treated everyone the same in my taxi
and people noticed
I was tipped incredibly well at times

There was also my dark side on display as I drove
I was fierce in the face of challanges
Never Backed Down... unless it was just stupid to continue

one night a woman grabbed the money
I had in my shirt and bolted
I ran her down
and she made it clear I would have to beat her up
to get my money back
I returned to the cab
took another order and tried to forget about it

I was always in the face of some asshole
never let people treat me like shit
without giving them a sting back

I understand the thirst for vengence
there are many who still bring up hate and disgust in my mind

I tell myself this is a behavior
not the intrinsic being
that there is a soul in all trying to steer
the flesh by the whispers of the Holy Ghost
The Christ inside all of you

still I would kill relentlessly if I thought it would help
if I did not know the collaterol damage
includes everything I love

My Powers are too huge for my consciousness
most of what I do with the weather comes from
a place in my mind where words are meaningless

I experimented to find out what could be done
and the destruction was awe inspiring
waves of tornados came at the bidding of my spinning fingers

like the flooding of Chicago when I thought they had killed M

I wonder sometimes if I was told all that has happened in the last two years
if my rage would destroy the world once and for all

I PRAY ONTO GOD FOR THE FORGIVENESS I ONCE FELT
THE GRACE

the savage is pacing back and forth in cell
roaring in the night
gently crying as he see's the faces of the oppressed on the moon





I keep my mind on the mission
trying to win the alleigence of the lost
to bring together the unstoppable power
of the masses
to enfranchise the forgotten

the gangs are needed in our army
we must offer them the mercy
one gives misguided children
before the leaders are all jailed
and forced to believe some religion
they have made up to enforce discipline

manipulating the impulses of the young
toward wanting to live gloriously
in the eye of God
not the eyes of their gang
president
priests
or parents

He exists
I have seen him
experienced the miracle of his presence
for months on end

When I was driving cab
I used to have conversations with God all the time
I believed in Karma then...
kept doing good deeds and seemingly reaping the benefits
then something terrible would happen
for no reason I could see
no sin of mine...

NO ONE IS TO BLAME
EVERYONE WAS INNOCENT ONCE
AND WILL BE INNOCENT AGAIN

ASK THE MURDERERS MOTHER
ABOUT THE GOOD IN HER SON

TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PRISONERS WERE TOO WASTED
WHEN THEY DID THEIR CRIME
TO EVEN REMEMBER THE NIGHT

the religions of exlusion
must be stoppped
opened up
examined
Holy Books like the Koran speak the ways of Peace
and War

written by men
trying to scribe the visions of God
in a language the people of his time understand
suiting the needs of a past long swept away by the wind

the place for the fundamentalists
is the same as the amish today

I apreciate the need to live simply
if this makes them happy
then let them b

Yet when they take the youths and teach them to hate
the very freedom that would bring Liberty to them
when they are told that church and state are the same
When the ministers tell the people that they know all
they are mocking God

No Man knows the best way for all to live
Diversity is the joy of God

I have preached to all religions that remain
been there and done that as a Muslim
in the time when they were the best religion on the planet

They are now as great as many others
No better or worse than the Bible Baptist Church
in Auburn Indiana
where I was offered a relationship with a deity
I stopped believing in at some point
what an irony?

I would have expected one such as I to rise from a church
I see now His Wisdom in making me a writer on the web
where I can reach all people
I have never liked preaching to the choir

I aam sickened by the Challanges I throw out daily

Sick of being a critic
Sick of pissing off people

My will is not as important as His
As long as He feeds me words
I must be the Praxis between God and Man
no matter how uncomfortable I am with talking to people about this

One Flew Over The Cuckoo Nest
that is me
the indian who has smashed out the window
and found freedom

My mother took me to this film alone
my brothers still too young
though we had all read the book
She is so wonderful
the childhood she tried to give us shines at moments
jewels in my memory that remind me that children still feel this way


Ossama was a wonderful child once
a brilliant man
a thoughtful leader with the instincts of a seasoned warrior
Now he and his kind have grown arrogant
as has all mankind

Once I was filled with such passion
that I felt I should be the one who went to war
to save the troops from having to fight
nuclear bombs would be kinder

When I began to see how I could be used by the military
I had to trust my instincts
believe that the soldiers would keep their creeds
yet I knew that war is a law unto itself

the cross
this time is information
questions

being alive and wondering
where I will be most useful

Humans who manipulate others
are an affront to God
we must find a way to stop the schools in the middle east
from teaching hatred for the red, white and blue
to do this we must change

America is about Change



































You are welcome to spread my poems by whatever means... they are yours... unless you make some money off of me and then I would like some. Is that too much to ask? No. I have a family, too;.
Posted by scott ridgway at 9:54 AM 0 comments
Saturday, July 12, 2008
we live in a cage of bookmarks

look at your bookmarks
if they are anything like mine
they tell the tail of who we are

the newspapers we believe
the comedians who make us laugh
the music that inspires

for every truth there are twenty lies
obscuring everything until the lie becomes as sensible as the truth

when more people believe the big con
than are free to be witting...
the Big Con will continue
with most all of the world
the marks
of a few
amoral carnies

look at Bush scrambling to take out large
swaths of nature with him

provoked

they bug ya, watch ya, wonder what kind of power you hold in your magic

how odd to be the painted bird
the one let loose with a slash of red that causes all the other birds to attack



I once was graced
to bring on a peace

now I have seen this is another illusion

a salve for the conscious of an angel

I could not have believed my god so bloody when I set out on this journey



the end of the earth.... they are al finite
take heart... life comes and goes in their steriloe soul


we see bit a bit of a bit of this whole shebang
nothing really

the possibilities are endless

there are ghosts
and mazes leading to heaven
religions sworn toward finding their way to heaven

is yours one?

I spend the day dosed on valium
trying to remember the good feeling the gave me once

my loves are lost
destroyed in the drama of the moment

I cannot tell if I am still in control or not
I have to assume I have soldiers or I could not face myself

to you have headed my call
know your journey was not in vain

we will run and walk and rest and reamp and revolt
day after day

the glorious day of fire would destroy the lives of the children
we must not do as much

I understand your anger at the wealthy who leave hundreds starving
to throw an elaborate party

when did we become like this? How do we stop producing these humans


the wealth of the inner life will bring us all together
the realm of the soul is accessible
an easy trek

I have no room to talk
but I do have a hell of an excuse

I am Jesus Chist/forever cursed to take on your sins/to know you in your innocence
and in your demonic ways

There is no one waiting to save you on this earth
No one will make you happy all the time
not even god

when my cat died I cursed his ways
damned god himself

I knew no better... I suspect he laughed
knowing my future


The everyday problems of being Jesus. FOr one, I am often recognized and people know I am too polite and interested to blow them off. Not that I have anywhere to go, I am just in my thoughts seeking the ever elusive over-narrative.


I am one of 930000 peace activists being looked at right now, and my influence makes me worse than others. Some intelligence agencies like me, speciafically the fbi. They know I am layabiding and would never

this is my new blog, in a way.. john scott ridgway

Sit here facing a white wall behind my laptop. A painting hovers over, but I can't see it because my eyes are here, on this page.

The other blogs are filled with this and that. Jesus, jokes, revolution... slapstick serial killing. This one spawned a book, in an earlier incarnation. 700 pages. Go to lulu to find my books, One War, Waking up Jesus, and a collection of various thinks as well as the religious psycho killers hit list.

I am entangled in various personality. It is like schizophrenia, but it only happens at the computer, so I guess that is what they call talent... much as I like to tune my horn, I prefer bringing down the walls of Jericho rather than draw attention to myself.

This is blog of the now time. The poetry in http://wakingupjesus.blogspot tells the same story, yet it tells it more like I was experiencing it, as revelations from god that make more sense as the days go on.

Johnny Pain is back...

Hey kids, ast time I could surface from the underground to talk to my soldiers was on my radio show, but that is over.... thank goodness. It was getting in the way of my mission a religious psycho killer. My old mammy would spin in her grave if she knew my low body count. I mean, if she was dead. That old woman has survived so many attacks. I remember the first time I shot her. I was around eight, and had just finally got my first rocket launcer. It was bigger than me, and while I had specific instructions not to use my birthday present inside the house, you know how that is. I got bored with blowing up cars from the tops of buildings pretty quick, which is what my brothers were into at the time. So, I decided to take over the family, starting by killing my mom. Dad, who married into the family, is no threat... hasn't left his bunker in the basement in years. We send him down whisky and porn and pork and beans and spam. All he will consume. Mom was out using the back hoe when I went after her. Digging a mass grave for a school bus she had taken out that morning that had run over one of her beloved turtles (sometimes they blocked the road, because she literrally had thousands of them, so she could turn them loose on fish hatcheries and destory their business, which is a hobby she picked up in college after becoming a radical fish advocate ... in her world, she is releasing thier souls and it has something to do with Jesus and fish.. what the heck, like I always say, whatever gets you to kill is not important. What is important is that you do kill.

I fired the rocket at the tractor and of course missed, hittin our barn and blowing a corner off. My pulled out her forty five, and from almost a hundred and fifty yards off, took aim on left pinkie and shot it right off. Now, losing an appendege is nothing to me now,but then I was eight, and all that blood and watching mom sew it back on really freaked me out. I would have cried but in my family that meant a beating circle, which is just what it sounds like unless you are a chronic masterbator, and then it is something else.

We have a rule in our family now, not to kill each other. OF course it doesn't work that well -- witness my having to take out my sister in law and her ninja kids at Thanksgiving last year. They were going to take us all out to get control of uncle ted's new business, which is really taking off. He is offering trained wombats for use by parapheligic and the sick and elderly as sexual sarrogates. I have to admit, when he dresses those critters up in sexy clothes, they look pretty hot. He calls them hairy little women to the senile old people he services. Somehow he got medicare to cover the cost -- he says he traded a couple wombats to someone down there... though everyone is pretty sure he has added to his hostages lately, and they sure look like medicade clerks. Anyways, the less said about the hostages the better. Suffice to say, we have a comprehensive indoctrination program that keeps them happy and working out in our pot and opium fileds. Mom insists on using opiates in her poisen out of some askew form guilt.

Well, what have I been up to? Well, for one thing, I know for a fact that Donald Trump has been replaced by a look alike,becaues I finally caught up with the real guy. I was expecting some nice press from that one,but no.. they had someone in the wings. In fact, might as well admit it, this guy I torture killed said he was not th original one, that the first had died, as we all thought he would, from massive rectal bleeding after that methed up hippo he kept by his pool gave him hist nightly fisting. Oh, well.

I have quite a few new people on stalking list. Few celebrities -- which I know you love hearing about. I was visiting my pal Brittany Spears a few weeks ago, we were talking about taking out her ex, then she forgot we were talking about that and wanted to get back with him... in like a split second. Then she was all about having her whole family dead so she could start over, then she had to call them all to see if they were alright. She used to be a lot of fun before the government started drugging her out in attempt to stop her immoral romp through life from attracting a lot of little girls into thinking marriage is a joke. The powers that b are so worried about the break up of the family.

i THINK sometimes how my life would havfe been if I had just been raised by my peace loving dad. My mom or brothers or sisters would have killed me with martial arts and advanced weaponry training, so I am glad mom put me in that Militia Pre school, but still.... I dream that maybe, if I have the talent I think I do, that I would have ended up writing harlequin romances, maybe get on a soap opera. Yea, I never tell people about it, but one time I was locked up and all they had were Harliquin romances and I read them by the thousands. The entire prison library was filled with them. I don't know why?

So, I guess the kill list, and the golden shiv awards is what you all are waiting for. Like I said, my kill count is down so low it is embarrassing to mention... okay, let's just say that in the last two months it was under two hundred, and I have not been that low since I made this vow to lower the population to protect the world for harbor seals.

My family has always come up with new religions, because everyones pscyhosis is different, effected by the times and the predominant myths. Me, I have spoken to both Jesus. Jesus came to me sto explain that he was not the pussy that people were making him out to be, and he wanted to use me to remind people of the wrath of GOd. He is all into making storms and earthquakes and shit, but he can't kill anyone in this life, something to do with his dad's orders (he feels like his dad doesn't really trust him or something... really has a complex about it; he wanted to just torch the earth and take off with the souls he has, but God told him he has to stay on earth until he is crucified or causes the apocolypse or something.. . his dad won't tell him why he is here now, and... well,this isn't his story,but believe me, he comes down for the weekend sometimes and we cruise around taking out people he points at. He can see their sins, neo con impulses, corruption -- all the things I try to find in my victims, though of course if someone honks at me or something I can't really care about that shit as I cull their honking ass from the herd.

I like to think of myself as a good disease, that kills only the high and mighty. Kind othe opposite of aids, which of course is a government invention of the cleverst kind--a drug that kills junkies and gays during our population explosion? Do you know this disease stopped overpopulation estimates, changed the way we look at the burgeoning number of folks trying to stand on this little speck of earth.

Like Jesus says now, Thou shall not kill in Vain. He says this is the way he originally wrote it, but the kings and priests changed all kinds of shit in the bible.

Oh, well. It is not like I would have needed to meet Jesus to do my job. Heck, like most kids, I started out killing just for the heck of it. Like kids hunting with their new bb guns, killing innocent birds and squirrels just to have something to point at. I used to take my knife to such kids, carve the animals shape in their flesh so they never forget my words -- do not kill animals. I can't stand that kind of cruelty.

Oh, yea, I shot up a dog fighting outfit last time. I tied em up and made them fight each other to death, telling them only one would get to live. They got vicious quick after I sprayed them with a mist of pcp and speed. After about an hour of cutting and a pile of bodies later, there was one guy left... a skinny puerto rican kid who you would have expected to fall to the six foot plus buff looking thugs in there. Of course, I could not let him go... I let the dogs have that one.

Now I have a basement full of pitbulls. I am nursing them all back to health, balancing their minds, showing them a lot of love. I have hostages petting them and talking them whenever they are awake. I should quit calling them hostages, because they consider themselves a religion and respecting that is the best way to keep them docile and doing our will. They call themselves The Church of Pain, or Pains for short. What the hell? They ain't my hostages. I don't take them, and would let these people free if I could. They won't leave after their conditioning, no matter what... their famalies come and they try to get us to snatch them to. The barn is pretty full at this point. Sooner or later one of us will get drunk and go out and shoot a bunch of them up for some paranoid reason purely in our minds. Happened too many times to ignore the inevitable. The Pains love it, take it like some cult drinks cool aid as if it were the magical potion to enter an alein world. They do all go to heaven, I asked Jesus. Something to do with being oppressed like that. This would probably make me feel better about killing them those times, if I indeed had such feelings, which I do not -- that was beat out of me when I was toddler, about the time of my first real mass killing. They would hold me up to the trigger, aim and let me pull that metal baby back and feel the bullets bucking out. I love that sound, still sometimes go to sleep listening to tapes of machine gun fire. To me, that is like the lapping waves of the ocean to most people.

What else? You know I took over the world for awhile last year. My cabals and intelligence agency contacts and all the other folk waiting for a revolution kind of put me ahead of the project. Sure it was fun ruling the world, for awhile... but I didn't really think the plan would work and it kind of took me by surprise. I wasn't ready to send out any edicts. It took a lot of work to get the other side to expose themselves in the press, and once exposed get people to react by taking up arms, and that sort of took it all out of me. I guess I am still basically in charge, pulling the strings of puppets in russia, china, south america, asia... Other than parts of the muslim world, we are loved everywhere we go. Killing in wars like that is herealded, and of course my body count made everyone love me. The papers called me the reaper.

Other than pot being legalized, the immigrants being granted asylum, and david bowie being forced to put out albums every year, I haven't come up with much other than the usual liberal stuff I love. The unions need to be free again to strike without fear of being fired. In fact, the unions should be growing where they are dying. This is the death of the middle class. We lost health insurance and retirement benefits by the millions because of the loss of unions. I would also like to see the nuclear bombs reduced. This is the way to keep other countries from building them. Show them we are serious about stopping the spread of nukes by actions, not words. Like with guatameno. WE LOST out moral leadership in the dim cages filled with masked men. Let them all have court dates, sign pledges of peace and go home. Watch them for the rest of their fucking lives.

Pakistan needs to straighten up, too. They are now as bad as Afganistan when they were hiding bin laden. Even worse actually, because we are now in active war. A country is aiding and abetting the enemy more than Iran ever could, yet since they are one of the few countries in the region where our name is spoken without someome spitting on the ground (at least by the leaders solicitiing american money). I wonder what truly keeps us from crossing into pakistan. Is it their nukes?

That adds an interesting element.

Iran... I love persians and wish them no harm. I pray to God above that they are truly telling the truth when they say they want nuclear power only. Going to war against people we should be learning from always makes me sad. Like viet nam, where ho chi min reached out to america thinking we would help him in his revolutionary against his oppressors. If the pakistani's see fit to hide all of these warring tribes on their land just to keep peace, we will fail over there. The taliban will rise again and the conflict will get bloodier.

There is no place in the world for religious based wars, or money based wars. The only holy war is revolution of the people. And that can be done peacefully in most countries. WHere it cannot, we of course go in with spies and give weapons to whoever we think is fighting our enemy.

I am going to change all that shit when I get time... I'm kinda too into surfing the net and watching the tube right now to get on this stuff. It is on my to do list... which I lost. I'll make another one. TOmmorrow. And probabaly in a couple weeks or so, I'll get to the other stuff on my dream list.

I guess I should add that I was talking to santa, and this year, on christmas, per my suggestion, he is finally going to use his ability to visit every house in the world to just slice the throats of the bad kids. He is sick of having to write all the bad shit in that book of his. Arthritis. So, I told him... get rid of them while you can still hold a knife or you'll be writing with your toes by the time the apocoplypse comes along (that is when his contract expires and he can go back to his planet -- he uses an alein ship of course to make his stops).

I had all this blood on my hands when I started typing, and now it is all over the keys and beginning to coagulate. Fucking keys are sticking. Have to get a Pain over here to clean this up.

Well, happy hunting. And remember uncle Kloop's mantra --"Kill yourself and others,but not in that order bonehead), becaues I am still seeing a lot of suicides out there who are too pussy and low class to take a few scumbags with them on the way out. I am telling you, this will make your death easier for your family... you know, the people who visit you when you are in the hospital and jail?

Also, I should say that my days running the hamster army are over, so if you are thinking about sending me a hamster, forget it. I have all these pit bulls now, and the first thing one did was break into the barracks and eat all but one hamster -- which lost a leg and bled to death later. These pit's are cool. We're going to need a new mailperson again, but at least it saved me on dog food for a day or so.

MAy you have a day where a metorite comes crashing down thru your skull, causing a crises in the behaviroal centers of your brain, causing you to forcible attack and rape a vat of macoroni and cheese in your company cafeteria/homestead/resturant, buring your genitilia into lumps of unrecognizable scars; in six months, you will either decide on the sex change you have always secretly wanted, or jump in front of a subway car. I also see something to do with a deer getting an antler stuck in your but... hey, whatever you are into, but you are going to miss that two feet of intestine during the ambulance ride as it feels like someone is shoving broken bottles up your ass (unless you are into that kind of thing, and then, hey... whatever man, I have my strange sexual picadellos... not sick shit like that, I just prefer fresh, warm corpses to living chicks. They don't bitch about a quickie, or anything, really. Not that I am not a great lover of living chicks, too, it's just that sooner or later they are going to talk about my stalking and abduction techniques, and I like to keep my mo private. Never ask about what a man makes or what his MO is. Besides, what would the hostages eat if I... oh, yea, cannabalism makes some of you sick.

Well, all of your ancestors were cannibals. So there. Ever since I took my first girlfreind wrong when she said, "Eat me," I've at least eaten the hearts of my victims. Call me a sentimental fool, my family does... everyone knows you should eat the raw liver,but I'm just a rebel.

the poltics of the day

I always had money. Billions. You grow up like that you get one of two ways... you buy into the class around you, or you reject it like fire. I grew out my hair and started smoking weed at eight, buying it off the son of one of our gardners at a ridiculous price. Around twelve I found my dad's stash and pinched off of him until he caught me.

I later found out he was all into coke and eight balls and mistresses that he kept in three countries. Being raised mostly by my sisters and mom, I learned something dad never did -- unconditional love for a woman that is all entangled with loyalty and honor and all the shit that keeps people monogamous. Doesn't matter. I gave up on relationships around twenty one, when all the women, no matter how good, were either dazzled by my wealth or from a similar background as myself and expecting me to straighten up into a serious husband.

When I joined the marines, my father immediantly called the president, Reagen at the time, and sent it down through the ranks that I was supposed to be kept safe. They tried to put me in an office. I out manuvered them, bribed my way into the Seals.

My security oath requires that I keep most of my government acitivity a secret. I am already charged with enough offenses to send me to jail for the rest of my natural life; the last thing I need is more shit about me being brought in front of this jury; if they knew what I did for the government, they would see me alone, not the people who gave the orders.... I would pay for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, getting a set of orders hideous and revolting.

This isn't what I am in jail for, which is I suppose what you want to hear about... the missons I took my private on, the countries we destabilized, the causes we aided as we traveled this planet like warrior monks of old.

We looked at ourselves as the freer of oppressors, borderless warriors ready to blitzkreig into any hell. Their devotion shows in the fact that they have split into various armies now and are operating in four countries as I sit here. The United States came after us when we stopped a cia coup. We didn't even know who was behind the hit. We were there because a democratically elected leader was being pushed out in a coup and that shit pisses us off. Period.

Like when we hit DARFUR and stepped on chinese toes and they launched a cyber attack that cut off our communications for a few days, we were doing what was right no matter who was behind the shit. I am here for breaking the laws of international sovereinty... and let me tell you, we are the future. The corporations have had their armies long enough. Why shouldn't citizens fund forays into slave markets and rescuing poeple? I inherited all this money while I was fighting in Somalia. When we pulled out... well, if you had seen the chaos, the malnurishment.. they were running up to our half tracks and trucks, trying to steal our meals. We killed them and still they came. The body count over there, for some of us...

We left behind a lot of contacts who were hunted down and shot, famalies and all. I would have went right back in, if I had had the forces backing me up.

Eight years of military, five years working special op's, a billion dollars and a boring life spent worrying ... about my fellow soldiers, the rise of the fundamentalist terrorists, nukes in the middle east, Bush's blood lusts... I smoked a lot of weed for a few weeks, layed around my pool. Had a lot of military buddies stay that summer. A couple were going back into the shit. As I watched them leave, I could see a purpose to their step that I rememembered. Not that I envyed them. Driving down a street pocked with bombs watching for suicide bombers and snipers in an urban environment can break a man down quick.




going to jail for all of my natural life, should I escape hanging... so, I don't need any more charges.

anywhere buddhist monks are the enemy there is a big fucking problem

SEE CHINA's hand in myanmar
both beat their buddhist monks
beat down a cultures cry
that they were being dissolved
disposed of

I wake up into the dream of being
ways of ancient seeing
repressed
imagined your neighborhood filling up with purple people
who despise you as a lesser minority and say your best are exceptions

feel the stirrings of the fire in the solarplexis
as they beat downthe last, desperate attempt
to allow Tibet to be Tibet

like American's native americans
but now
after thelesons should have been learned
the bloody lessons we see pouring life into the streets of Tibet

China shuts out my blogspot
they try to keep my words out/folly

they wish to keep the offical story
try to keep out the inconvienant truths
they want theirminds to play out the official story

I AM
ALL COUNTRIES
ALL RELIGIONS
ALL CONVICTIONS

all ways of being

SYNTHESIZED

JUST ENOUGH THAT WE SHARE A COMMON LANGUAGE

which speaks of the love and ethics
that all good humyns crave

which all humans deserve...

right from the womb


WE have divided ourselves
off from the everyone else
since our first awareness
of bringing a cosciousness
other than their mothers

we compete on Teams but ultimatly everyone plays alone
alone, adrift in our american ideal of the individual

i was alone and feeling broken and los

God BROKE INTO MY MIND
SHREDDED MY LIFE
left me without a personality
so I could come back
and be the man from NAZARETH

hE CALLED MY NAME
AND SAID JOHN COME DO MY WILL
MY HEART STOOD STILL

JOHNNY CASH... from tell em god's gonna cut em down

I started Total War From Total Peace and they came after me
were Inotthe Son Of the Father You would have never heard my words

Complete amnesia the hospital gave me
when I refused their catholic bible they were ready to toss me out into the snow

only the freinds who convinced them I was other than I was
got me sent to the hospital where they tested me to see if I was the one

every test seemed to tell them

THIS IS THE ONE...as I woke the television began talking to me
we played an improv game
where I was the guest
being told what they could get across

I am a hostage
the leader they do not want to get to his army

As the campaign started and they were drugging me out
it seemed every book and cd was plantedin my house
they were also coming in and changing my red cup in the toilet to block

they were trying to say the blacks were communists
like I cared where they start out from
in this journey all can join
and like the french foreign legion be reborn better men

that first day I saw a dust mote in a sunray
and knew it was the world
a tiny, remote world in need of the sun to shine

words came from on High
unbecconed by reading
the news
my life
all the usual sources of inspiration
were eclipsed BY God Himself

I have to tell to ushur in the Time Of Peace

My teales willbring you closer thanyou can comprehend

I havelived life after life
my wores are countless
my failures flash up in my mind
as my accomplishments
are nothing compared
to the success of failure
of the afternoon's poetry

they brought the fbi agent in to clean up the chi town cops
after they jailed me
and I learned to hate with a criminals mind
leaerned of the men locked away from this life
living as best they can
junkies who couldn't get enough stuff
the economically disadvantaged seduced by the constant commercials

THEY TRY TO JAIL PEOPLE LIKE ME

they sent an undercover agent
left needles in my hospital room
gave metried to get me involved in a insurance scame they soon busted

one day a cop came up to me at the beach with a bag of stun guns
and other instruments to control a crowd
he thought he was scaring me and was surprised when I tried to make him a freind

after I left jail my anger was everywhere
a seething killer waiting from an oportunity
one night I was walking down a famaliar street
wondering if they were still
listening to me preach aloud
figured they were
told the hidden mikes
'TIME TO KILL SOME COPS.

within a few months 21 of the top 25 cops in chicago are fired
they bring in an fbi agent who is not going to tolerate
the mob connections anymore

I had only to write in my note pad for awhile
as they bugged and filmed my apartment
and I would see the events play out on my tv screen

the country followed me
such power does not go away easily